Tell Your Family What You Really Think

Picture your funeral. (Bummer, I know, but bear with me.) All the important people from your life are in attendance, someone with an engaging stage presence is at the podium waxing poetic about your well-lived and long (very, very, very long) time on Earth, and your loved ones are reminiscing about ... well, what exactly do you hope they recall about you?

You don't have to write your own eulogy -- or, more morbidly, time your death perfectly so you can make all those overdue phone calls before you check out -- to ensure that the people close to you know how you really felt about them.

Get busy now -- way before your final credits roll -- by writing a completely different kind of will. This document leaves your loved ones with a lasting and thoughtful legacy that's much more personal than the financial part of passing away.

The Softer Side of Estate Planning

Martin Kuritz, a retired estate and financial planner and author of The Beneficiary Book: A Family Information Organizer, spent more than 30 years helping families economically prepare for the inevitable, by making sure they crossed those financial T's and dotted all the monetary I's.

But Kuritz's mother's death opened his eyes to a softer side of estate planning. When she passed away, among her important papers was a five-page handwritten letter to her son, composed soon after she discovered she had cancer.

That moving letter is an example of what's called an "ethical will," and it showed Kuritz that a legacy of love is just as important as having all of your important financial papers in place.

An ethical will is free from the constraints of legal documents, such as a living will or a last will and testament. You don't need a lawyer to compose one. And if you feel so moved, you absolutely should share it with your loved ones well before you take life's final bow and exit stage left.

Deep Thoughts, By [Your Name Here]

If an ethical will sounds like a difficult document to produce, you're right: It may be the hardest thing you ever commit to paper. Kuritz has a few suggestions to get you started. Consider including:

• Words of praise to those who have done you proud.
• An apology (if necessary) and/or an honest attempt to settle unresolved issues and disputes.
• An offering of forgiveness (again, if necessary).
• Words of wisdom.
• Your hopes for the life you've dreamed about for your loved ones.

Once you're on a roll, you may discover your hidden autobiographer. Consider including some interesting remembrances about you and your ancestors. Share what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. What do you consider the most important things you've accomplished? What things do you cherish most about the person you are writing to? Most embarrassing high school moment? Best kiss ever?

Photos can fade, and inheritances are eventually spent. But an ethical will can provide inspiration for generations to come.

Fool.com columnist Dayana Yochim's public ethical will seeks forgiveness for that overdue library book, that one time she left her laundry in the washing machine overnight, and, preemptively, any future slights.